Monday, May 17, 2010

Crypto Chicken

a cryptogram is a substitution cypher in which one letter stands for another. If you think that X equals O, it wll equal O throughout the puzzle. If you need a clue, email me...



(I'll post the answer tomorrow in the comments)

Friday, May 14, 2010

Boiled Chicken Hiaku 2

Chicken in the Pot

Leaches flavor and fun

Salmonella time

Famous Chicken Quotes

Thanks to "The great Chicken Quest" cuz its Friday, I'm feeling lazy, and I don't have the spoof of the gettysburg address ready yet...

Henry Ford: Business is never so healthy as when, like a chicken , it must do a certain amount of scratching for what it gets

Victor Hugo, in Les Miserables: At this moment the chicken voice of little Gavroche resounded through the barricade

Jake Blues (need I say where from?): Bring me four fried chickens and a Coke.

Willem Dafoe as Caravaggio in The English Patient: In Italy, there's always chickens, but no eggs. In Africa there's eggs, but never chickens. Who separated them?

Pinky: Um... I think so, Brain, but what if the chicken won't wear the nylons?

(from Red Dwarf) Kryten: 68250? But sir, surely that's impossible without at least one live chicken and a rabbi.
Lister: Well, it was better than being a chicken. I mean, you've seen the size of an egg. You've seen the size of a chicken's bum. I was trying to say, in chicken-talk, "For God's sake, give me an epidural."

Officer Barbrady: Keep your eyes peeled boys, someone's going to make love to this chicken any second now.

Jack O'Neill previously known as MacGyver: Hypnosis. You know, I'm not a big fan of that bark like a chicken, cluck like a dog stuff.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Ode to Chicken

(to tune of ode to Joy, see chorus here:

Boiled Chicken I abhor thee,
Tween my teeth, I've had enough.
Swallowed down some protein in me,
Cupcakes I am dreaming of.
Melt the fat and give me leanness.
I can't eat this another day.
Chicken makes my temper meanest,
Keep the yummy carbs away.

All that work with weights to pound me,
Let my muscles be my pay.
Sweat and tears fly around me.
Cardio for me today.
Chicken, egg white, broccoli, brown rice;
Nothing else can e'er go in me,
But oh, that cupcake would be nice.
Three more weeks and I am free.

I am running and weight lifting,
At the show I'll be the best.
After that I will be eating
All the things I gave a rest.
Boiled chicken out the window,
If I see you I will whine.
After I win best in show
cupcakes I will make you mine.

Boiled Chicken ain't good for us.
What was I thinking when this began?
Lack of carbs makes my brain porous,
This diet thing ain't fit for man.
Weight loss, as I have discovered
Comes with a very heavy price.
Boiled chicken tastes run-overed
And I am very sick of rice.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

boiled chicken hiaku 1

Oh Boiled Chicken
Now stuck between my back teeth
Skinny tastes like dry meat